Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My one-month relationship is over....I thought I'd last longer. I actually wanted to make it to a year at least to break the jink. My last long-term relationship (1 year) was 3 years ago - and that one sef was" cut and sew". Make up and break up.
I don't feel sad, I didn't shed a tear (I'm usually a cry-baby)...in fact, I'm happy it's over. I wasn't in love but was looking for it. No news here, didnt find it. I knew it wouldn't lead anywhere but who's to say? It was nice have someone to call my own though.
I tell my friends that I wouldn't go into a relationship with a guy I can't get married to and I broke my own rule. I was having this same conversation with a friend and he was like, is it every relationship I enter that must lead to marriage?. Obviously not! But if the best comes to the best, I want to know that marriage can happen. I'm not going to be skipping through wedding catalogs or picking a dress, but I'd just like to know that if the best happens, there can be more than dating. I obviously will not enter into a relationship saying "let's have some fun and get it over with". If the best comes to the best....
He was a muslim (a very staunch one) and I don't see the "best coming to the best" happening for us. Apart from the fact that it goes against what I believe in, I wouldn't want to bring my children up in a home where they grow in confusion as to what to believe in.
I'm not an angel though, I have my many faults but I don't appreciate anyone using it to sing song. This, he was perfect at doing. He would string together a line of choruses about how I'm so spoilt, stubborn etc. Excuse me? If na so I bad reach, what are you doing with me? The one that really pained me was when I cooked my first stew and soup weeks back. For a first, it was really good and my entire family ate it. I shared this little piece of information with him and he started singing. How I should have learnt a long time ago, his junior brother about my age knows even more, and oh! I didnt even cook anything complicated. My father ate the food and was happy, he didnt complain and suddenly you have the right to? mscheew
Dude would always say he doesnt lie? Abeg who doesn't lie (even a tiny bitty lie? mistake lie?) and I caught him lying so so so many times.He was real ijebu too. He had money but won't want to spend, never took me out, would just come to my house sidon and use tori kill pesin.
Why am I knocking him out? Don't mind me jare, just need to make myself feel good for my own faults in it.
I was listening to Kirk Franklin's "How we used to be", and then realised I was just taking any love I could find...Not healthy....Need to go back to my drawing board - read my bible, pray everyday, fill that void within me...
My head is pounding, my bed is calling. Enjoy your week everyone
Current Listen : No Be Mistake - 9ice
Posted by ZeL at 4:21 PM