When I tear, its not patched, its not stiched....Its broken...Looking for a way to fly, back into the sky, soaring high again, where I belong.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Sad....

I have never cried so much in this past week or entered into fleeting stages of depression. I want to believe that there is a rainbow at the end of this tunnel but my word!, its so hard.

My dad had a stroke last week which affected his left hand, he cant grip anything with it but can move it slightly though. It was so sad to watch because my dad transformed into a different person. A more lovable dad, a dad I thought i had lost with my childhood. Its so sad that it had to be this to bring that out in him. He started adding "babe" after my name, taking to me about stuff other than business (wow!), joking with us (he never did this before)talking about a will (scary stuff), I've seen him cry one too many times in these past days. Gosh! I'm crying and typing... My mum on the other hand has to be so strong, taking a bath for him, attending to his needs and volatile moods...sometimes I help her dress him up. Its amazing (for lack of a better word) how my life has turned upside down in a matter of days.


My dad is a very generous person . He's the kind of person that will take his children's school fees to help someone else. This has taught him to stop favoring outsiders over his own family because I can count, on one hand, the people, that have stood by my family in this time. Could this be for him to learn his lesson because I know he never has in the past.

Lord, whatever reason this is for, I just want it to pass. Please....

I just want him to be well, I just want us to be over this, I just want to go back to school soon and start my final year. I just want to be happy. I'm doing his post because I want to look back at it someday and smile.

14 comments:

Jaycee said...

Oh God, please bring healing. Let us all look back at this post someday and truly smile.

Zel dearie, I can only hold your hand through your blog, but only God will lift you up in this time. Don't worry. Don't let anything steal your joy. When he cracks jokes, laugh and crack some more jokes. Every single second that we smile or laugh with the members of our family and friends count.

And you're right, only God knows why it had to happen this way. But don't think about...don't think about whatever lessons you fathom your dad might be learning from all this, that's between him and God. Focus on yourself and make sure you still grab a hold of every goal you're destined to achieve this year.

Did you take a break from school? :)

neefemi said...

I'm so sorry darling. My best friends mum went through the same thing. Praying for you. God will heal him completely in Jesus Name. it is well with you and he will grant you and the rest of your family strength to deal in Jesus Name. tk cr dear

'Layole said...

I'm so sorry to read this. I truly hope you do look back on this post someday and smile. All will be well dear.

Myne Whitman said...

Hey dearie, was just about to say I missed you and your comments. I pray your dad gets better soon. Just have faith OK? Hugss..

Miss FlyHigh said...

This sent shivers down my body and I believe it shall be well with you and your family my dear. i pray for healing for your dad in Jesus name. amen xx

YankeeNaija said...

Oh hun, I'm so sorry. I pray too that all will be back well again and your dad will heal and be healthy again.

Miss Natural said...

we're all praying for you. just be strong ok. Your dad will be well IJN!

Onose said...

i'll pray for him, prayer is the only thing...hes going to pull thru

aloted said...

oh my! so sorry to hear about your dad. i pray for healing, complete healing in Jesus name. I also pray for strength for you guys.

NikkiSho said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NikkiSho said...

be strong.All will be well and ur dad is healed in jesus name

jhazmyn said...

Oh dear, keep being strong for him, I sure pray for the strength for you all to come through this season, there's so much the internet can allow us do, but at least we can pray with y'all.

kay9 said...

Its time to find yo inner strength, Zel, for yourself n your family. Tell yo dad Blogsville's prayin 4him.

Dark Neo said...

Its my sincere wish that your dad recovers quickly and we all look back and smile together...

Post a Comment